


How Brian May Came to Love Hedgehogs

by Kato (WritersCoven)



Series: The Smile Chronicles, and Beyond [2]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Cute and yet sad, Everything I make is gay, Fluffy, M/M, Maylor - Freeform, Poor Hubert, SO GAY, Sweet Ending, Venting in Fic Form
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-29 22:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19839490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritersCoven/pseuds/Kato
Summary: When they reached the car, Roger waited for Brian to get in before he handed the small bag over. Inside, a small ball of faux fur and cloth waited to be handled. It was a series of light browns and beiges, and when Brian lifted it, he found a tiny hedgehog face with small, beady eyes and a fuzzy, black nose staring back at him.“What’s this, Rog?” Brian had asked.“A hedgehog,” was the blond’s reply. “Your new favorite animal.”~~Brian and Roger are fighting, and in his desperation Brian turns to an old gift. No matter how upset he gets, he can't bring himself to get rid of the tiny toy.





	How Brian May Came to Love Hedgehogs

**Author's Note:**

> **Hey guys! This one gets a little angsty, a little fluffy. I mostly wrote it for therapeutic reasons, because I can totally relate to Brian wanting to destroy stuffed animals because of the memories. I have two from ex-friends that I can hardly look at without wanting to cry or burn them. One of which, just like this one, ended up shoved into the crook of my bed.**   
>  **Anyway, I hope you enjoy, darlings. Thanks for reading, and don’t forget to comment and kudos!**
> 
> **Hey, this part of my little note is new! And it's going to be everywhere for a little while: Your beloved Kato was hacked darlings, multiple times! Her stuff was removed, even her pseud deleted, her passwords repeatedly changed. It's been a mess. Someone wants to shut me down! But we aren't going to let that happen, are we darlings? Nope! So,**  
>  **Enjoy the reupload! Kato out! xoxo**

Brian loved hedgehogs a lot longer than most knew. He might later go on in life supporting the rescue of these tiny, loveable beasts, but in the seventies his love was still new, still dangerously weak.

It started with a date to the zoo. He and Roger had seen a wide array of creatures that day, from snakes to lions. All of these animals were neat, but it was their walk through the petting zoo that really felt magical to Brian. Those gentle, friendly animals-- the bunnies and sheep and baby cows-- just felt natural surrounding Brian.

There were hedgehogs in the petting zoo. That was the very first time Brian May ever saw a hedgehog up close, and the first time that he ever touched one. They were prickly, but they were also gentle.

When he and Roger left the zoo, Brian told the blond that he had found a new favorite animal in the humble hedgehog. On their way out, they happened to pass a small souvenir shop, which Roger was quick to dip into. Brian tried to follow, but Roger insisted that he would be right back and that he didn’t want Brian to see what he was doing.

So, Brian waited outside of the shop while Roger popped in and grabbed whatever it was that had caught his eye. When he came back out with a small bag hanging from his wrist, Brian gave a curious peek at the white plastic. Roger jerked it out of view.

“I’ll show you in the car,” was all Roger had said.

Brian playfully pouted about having to wait, but he didn’t press Roger. He could have. He knew that Roger would have caved and shown him if he wanted to know, but Brian didn’t mind waiting.

When they reached the car, Roger waited for Brian to get in before he handed the small bag over. Inside, a small ball of faux fur and cloth waited to be handled. It was a series of light browns and beiges, and when Brian lifted it, he found a tiny hedgehog face with small, beady eyes and a fuzzy, black nose staring back at him.

“What’s this, Rog?” Brian had asked.

“A hedgehog,” was the blond’s reply. “Your new favorite animal.”

Brian smiled at the fuzzy fake, clutching it to his chest. “Was he expensive?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes,” Brian insisted. “I don’t like it when you spend a lot of money on me, Rog.”

“I’ll spend however much I fucking want on you, and there’s nothing you can do about that.”

While etiquette told Brian to keep arguing, he started blushing. He couldn’t help but feel flattered. For the first time in his life, someone wanted to spend money on him. For the first time in his life, someone wanted to spoil him and love him. It was flattering.

That trip remained one of Brian’s favorite memories in the months that followed. He kept his little hedgehog-- he and Roger decided to name it Hubert-- on his bed with him, wherever he was. If they were on tour, so was Hubert. If they were recording in another town, so was Hubert.

But he and Roger were fighting. They had had a lot of small quarrels in the past, but nothing like this. This time, Brian felt like he had really fucked it all up, because Roger was no longer talking to him. They would go through their days ignoring one another, not even talking when they were asked a question. If a band decision needed to be made, they would talk to John or Freddie.

Brian hated it. He wanted his boyfriend back. He wanted everything back. Instead, he was all alone. He didn’t even know if he still _had_ a boyfriend. Somehow, Brian didn’t think that he did. If you ignored your significant other for a serious amount of time, how could you still be together?

It just didn’t feel practical.

Brian himself wasn’t feeling very practical. He had a horrible habit of losing control of his emotions, and sometimes his actions followed. Often, when he would eventually, inevitably break down, he would lash out on the nearest non-living target. He lost a lot of important items that way.

Staring at Hubert, for the first time in the small hedgehog’s existence, Brian feared he might do something he would regret to the tiny mock creature. Every time he looked at it, he just wanted to tear it apart. He wanted to poke scissors right into its little belly and rip its stitching open. He wanted to degut the stuffing and rip out the eyes and just--

Brian wanted to destroy everything about Hubert. He wanted no reminders of that happy day. He wanted nothing.

Stuffing the stuffed animal in between the bed and the wall, he found a safe place for Hubert to stay. He risked forgetting to grab the hedgehog in the mornings, but at least he wasn’t about to cut it to shreds. If Brian had to look at it one more time, he just knew that Hubert was going to die.

With Hubert tucked safely away, Brian collapsed back onto the pillows and buried his face into one of them, sobbing. He had very little control over anything these days. His emotional state was an entire wreck. The slightest thing could send him over the edge. He blamed losing Roger for that, because Roger was everything to him.

At some point, he must have fallen asleep, because the next thing Brian knew, Roger’s hand was on his back. “Where’s Huey?”

Brian sat up, scrubbed his eyes, and glared. He could feel how swollen they still were even after his nap, and he just knew they were bright red. “Why does it matter? Do you want him back?”

“Hey,” Roger stated, “I gave him to you, Bri. Why would I want him back?”

“Because you seem to like destroying my life lately, so I just assumed--”

“Brian.”

“What?” he snapped, biting down on his bottom lip with as much force as his upper jaw could possibly supply. The motion was meant to keep him from crying, but it also drew blood, which caught Roger’s eye.

Placing one hand under his boyfriend’s chin, Roger whispered, “I’m sorry.” His thumb found the wounded area and wiped away some of the blood already beginning to trickle out of Brian’s lip. He pulled Brian down against his chest and started running his fingers through the brunette curls. “I’m so sorry.”

“I wanted to hurt him,” Brian muttered, his eyes shut. “I wanted to hurt him so bad.”

“Did you?”

Once again gnawing on his bottom lip, Brian shook his head. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I love him.”

“I wouldn’t have blamed you for doing it.”

“I would have blamed myself.”

“Did you want to--” Roger stopped. This was a dangerous question to ask. “Did you want to hurt yourself?”

Brian pulled away from Roger. That hadn’t actually occurred to him, in all honesty. _Did he?_

He didn’t think so. Sometimes, rarely, Brian would feel that depression. The kind of angry sadness, the lost hopelessness that just made him want to pick up a blade and create a permanent reminder, a testament to his pain. In the end, he never did. He hadn’t done any of that since he was a teenager.

“No,” he finally answered. Maybe he felt the occasional twitch, the faintest twinge telling him to try it, but overall he never did.

“Only Hubert?”

Somehow, Brian thought Roger sounded upset about this. Maybe the blond _wanted_ him to cut himself.

Brian had been holding it together for so long, but he couldn’t keep it in much longer. He felt a dangerous bubble ready to pop, building up more and more pressure against him. There was nothing that he could do. He was going to cry.

Brian stood up from the bed. His goal was to get to the bathroom. If he could get to the bathroom, he could lose it and everything would still be okay. He might have made it, too, if Roger hadn’t grabbed his arm and pulled him back. And right there, in that moment with Roger’s arms around him, the dam broke.

“Hey, look at me baby,” Roger soothed, but Brian fought against the other man’s touch. “It’s alright.”

“I can’t do this, Rog,” he sobbed.

Roger rubbed the tears from his boyfriend’s cheeks. “I’ve been a royal ass lately, but you’re always going to be my whole world, Bri. There’s no one but you.”

“I’m sorry,” Brian suddenly cried, burying his face into Roger’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Hun, where’d you hide Hubert?”

“Huh?”

Roger guided Brian a step back so that they could face each other. “Where’s Hubert, Bri?”

“Bed,” Brian sniffled, wiping his eyes. His cheeks were hot, his eyes were watery, and he wanted away from everything.

Roger went over to the bed and stripped away the covers. He flung around the pillows and dug out the bed sheet until he found the mattress underneath. Then he turned back to Brian in confusion. “He’s not here.”

“Against the wall,” Brian explained, pointing slightly. He kept touching his face. Roger noticed the nervous habit. “Stop that,” he scolded. Brian dropped his hand immediately, and Roger frowned at himself. He felt bad about it, but Brian needed to relax and that nervous tic wasn’t going to help him do that.

“I put him there because--” Brian tried to get out between the tiny, pitter-patter sobs still breaking through. They were dying out, but for the moment they were still proving to be a hassle. “I put him there because I didn’t want to look at him anymore.”

With this new addition, Roger swiftly found the stuffed animal and yanked it up. A thin rain of dust sprinkled out onto the bed. Hubert hadn’t seen much love in at least a few days. Quickly dusting it with the slap of a hand, Roger approached the man and guided Brian back to sitting on the mattress. “Come here, Bri.”

“I’m sorry,” Brian repeated. He had been saying that an awful lot this conversation.

Roger carefully placed the stuffed animal in Brian’s lap and sighed. “Couples fight, Bri. It happens a lot. There’s no getting around it or anything, okay?”

“I know.”

“If things ended badly, if we ever broke up or anything like that--”

Brian cut him off. “Do you want to leave me?”

“No! I’m just saying,” Roger explained. “If it ever did happen, I want you to keep Huey, and I want you to remember all the good times we had together every time you looked at him. I want Huey to hold everything positive you’ve ever felt about us, about me.”

“He already does.”

“Then I want you to keep it that way. No matter how upset you are, how sad or frustrated, I want you to look at him and _only_ see the good. Huey should make you smile.”

Brian shook his head. “I can’t see joy in something like that.”

“You can’t see joy in something that makes you happy?” Roger asked.

Brian nodded. “I can’t see it when it doesn’t make me happy anymore. Huey wouldn’t make me happy unless I was still with you.”

“That’s what I’m trying to say, love. I want you to see Huey and remember how happy everything was. Every time you feel lost, or sad, or mad, or anything-- I want you to go to Huey.”

“It won’t work,” Brian muttered, his lip wobbling dangerously.

Roger shook his head. “It will, Bri. You just have to let it. You have to let yourself have those memories and smile at them.”

“They’re upsetting.”

“Because things have changed,” Roger clarified, and when Brian nodded, he continued. “Sometimes, things do change, permanently. That’s not a reason to lose your happiness. You should remember the way things used to be and be able to smile at that, even if you can’t have it anymore. Because at least you have the memories of that.”

Hugging Hubert to his chest, Brian blinked up at Roger. “I don’t want the memories,” he whined. “I want you.” It was childish, but he was broken. He needed love.

Roger understood exactly that. He pulled Brian to him and laid down, bringing the poodle with him. Running his fingers through Brian’s curls, he whispered, “You’ll always be my husband. No matter what happens.”

“Do you promise?” Brian whimpered.

Roger nodded, kissing his boyfriend’s forehead. “Even if the world says you aren’t, you will _always_ be my _only_ husband, my _only_ love.”

“Good,” Brian yawned, clutching Hubert against him and resting on Roger’s chest. His feet dangled off the bed at this angle, but he didn’t mind. “Don’t do that to me again. _Please._ ”

“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I just needed space.”

“I love space,” Brian smiled, “but not when it comes to me and you.”

“Yeah. I get that now.”

“You know,” Brian mused, sleep already slurring his voice. “I think hedgehogs are still my favorite.”

“That wouldn’t surprise me, Bri.”

“It’s a shame so many of them have to die every year.”

“Maybe they don’t,” Roger responded, continuing to stroke Brian’s curls. “Maybe you can change that someday.”

“Maybe I will,” Brian smiled, his eyes closing.

Roger pressed his lips against the part in Brian’s hair-- however miniscule it might be-- and sighed. His boyfriend was already asleep, he could tell, but he whispered all the same, “Maybe you will, love.”

**Author's Note:**

> **Sorry it’s a little bit on the shittier side. I just wrote it to get some shit out, to be honest. I hope you enjoyed it though. Please, kudos and comment! Comments absolutely make my day, dearies!**
> 
> **Hey, this part of my little note is new! And it's going to be everywhere for a little while: Your beloved Kato was hacked darlings, multiple times! Her stuff was removed, even her pseud deleted, her passwords repeatedly changed. It's been a mess. Someone wants to shut me down! But we aren't going to let that happen, are we darlings? Nope! So,**  
>  **Enjoy the reupload! Kato out! xoxo**


End file.
